Young and Old

Look at this b&w picture. What do you see? an old lady? or a young woman?
Just today I was training a newbie, she seems pretty nice. She reminds me of myself at 21. Not that we really like the same things, but that she doesn't give a shit what people think. Either you like her or you don't. So we start talking about music and I have never, ever heard of ANY of the bands she starts ratting off, not one. Now I like music and have nearly 14 Gb of music on my computer, which is about 3500 songs. I have lots of genres, mainly because I am a Gemini and sampling things is what we do.
Anyway back to chicky, she is going to Hotlanta tonight to a Goatwhore show. What? who? got-a-whore? No GOAT-WHORE, but one word, oh of course one word... I mutter. She calls it 'Sludge-Metal'. what what what? Goatwhore, Acid Bath, and High On Fire are her fav bands. So you know as soon as Ken went to bed tonight I was on Amazon.com.
Yes, Goatwhore is actually out there and they have 5 stars woo hoo, they must be good all fifteen people think..... so...... Wait! only 15 people actually reviewed this band?? So I listen to the first song and OMG my ears are ringing. Song 2- still ringing, song 4- ughhhh, song 7 -wait that was the same song as #1, OMG I listen to the other album they have out there. Same thing; every single song is the same to me. Same fast electric guitar and some guy screaming guttural noises into the microphone. I can't imagine more than the 30 second allotted clips you get with amazon, much less an entire concert of this. I listen to other 3 bands she gave me, more of the same, some guy screaming into the microphone, ugh. IF there were song lyrics, which I am sure there were not, I couldn't understand them. Who knows if it were about people that hate wiener dogs, I love wiener dogs! Isn't this how they get all those young white boys into believing Adolf Hitler was a hero? thru subliminal messages in music, have free concerts in trailer parks of anti-Semitic- pro race war music. Who knows what I am listening to and why do I hate wiener dogs so much all of a sudden?....
Next thing I feel is old, I turn 30 in June and man I can't figure out where it all went. 5 years ago, on my 25th birthday I was at an Allman Brother's Band concert having way too many watered down beer and trying to hookup with my ex. Four years before that on my 21st b'day Tina and I were at Cucos having white Russians toasting to many more. This year the big 3-0, where will I be, probably at home with Kenny doing whatever it is old people do.

and about that b&w picture What do you see? an old lady? or a young woman?

Dinner for 10

Wow, I had a few friends over last night and we had a fantastic time. Normally my husband will cook and I do the cleaning. Not so yesturday, he had to work a 12 hour shift. I got up at 9am, did some shopping at Sams and Bruno's, came home and had the sauce simmering by noon. I cleaned the entire apartment, made spinach manicotti, and sangria by 5 pm. My timing was perfect, everyone ohh'd and ahh'd over my homemade vegetarian sauce. All of us had a great time, some had too much wine but everything was perfect. I was Bree Van De Kamp a la Desperate Housewives, my party was perfect and my husband was not only proud but mostly shocked I was able to pull the whole evening off with out any of his help at all. I was one woman army with a recipe and a dream.

exhausted...

Well today I joined up at Weight Watchers and then met Leah at the Rec center. We spent two hours in the pool. We did 45 minutes of laps, then we played with her son and husband, they played keep away (from me!) for about an hour. Every muscle in my body is sore. I am so tired. I still have yet to wash the chlorine out of my hair and take a shower. I am excited about WW. I can't wait to start loosing weight and getting down into my smaller clothes. I wish I could go swimming every day, but my gym doesn't have a pool. Oh well I need to hit the gym again anyway, pool or no pool. I turn 30 in 3 months, and I really want to drop some pounds before then. anyway I am going to take a shower and crash out.

Partying!!

It seems like since last Friday night I have been partying every off day I have had. Now I am not complaining it has been fun but damn a girl's gotta get some rest. For instance last Friday night I hosted a party at my apartment complex's club house, I didn't get to bed til 3am. I had to work Saturday 11-4pm, I came home and crashed. Ken and I got up at 10pm and went out for a late dinner. Then Sunday we got up at 11am on Sunday and went to Ken's friend's house where I had too much to drink. We left from there and went to my dad's house where I continued to have too much to drink. I was in bed passed the fuck out by 10:00pm. What can I say, I am too old to party. That was last weekend and I am still trying to recover from that.

This weekend I have been taking it easy, hung out with Leah some today. We took the kids to the roller rink. Maybe it was nostalgia but it reminded me of my Skate Haven days: where there were the cute boys with their pegged pants and Spuds Mckenzie shirts; I had a side ponytail with a scrunchie the size of a softball in my hair and my arm was covered with jelly bracelets all the while A-Ha's "Take On Me" is played during an all skate. Ah the days, I never could skate, even back then. Lord knows if I tried to skate now there would be ER visit involved. You know the kid that clung to the side of the wall, took her 20 minutes to do a lap and fell down 30 times in an hour, yep that was me. I never have been cool. While we were there today we saw at least 4-5 girls/women with side pony tails. Maybe it was "Napoleon Dynomite" that repopularized it, I don't know. Maybe I need to get my scrunchis out of the back of the closet and start pegging my pants again.

It's official

So Ken and I had a big talk last night, we officially decided to stop taking the pill and actively stop trying not to get pregnant. So I guess that means we are not having safe sex anymore. What would Sue Johanson from Talk Sex say?? I am excited and yet apprehensive at the same time. I don't expect to get pregnant right away, it will probably take a year or more. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) symptoms include irregular or absent menstrual cycles, acne, and hair thinning (female balding). Many, but not all, women with PCOS are overweight. I certainly don't have the thining hair but I do have the other symptomes including amenoria. When I am not on the pill I have like 2 maybe 3 periods a year and man they are doozies. I won't get graphic but think about the cramps you have every month, mine seem to be once So we are trying to get pregnant I think it will take a while to get there. I really haven't done any research on it yet but I have an open mind.

Bath Night

I was off today, I got my brakes done and hung out w/ Leah and Sonny. I came home and lounged around and what I saw set the tone for the evening. A once white cat was dingy and yellow, everybody got a bath, both cats and the dog. Alrich was first, he whined and complained but once he was out and the first cat was in he sat at side the of the tub trying to get back INTO the tub to help bathe the cats. He was too funny, as soon as the cats were out of the tub Alrich was chasing them down the hallway. Poor Charlie was just trying to dry off and Alrich ran up and knocked him over and started licking him. Fight insued, 2 wet cats and a slightly wet dog (he is a short hair) ran up and down the hallway. Ahhh the joy of parenthood.

Updation

Well I haven't updated in a week. Basically I went to the ER last Friday morning, saw a nuerologist and got some headache meds and another appointment for an MRI. The first 2 MRI's are fuzzy. There is what could be a very small mass on my pituitary gland, but I don't need surgery for it. The doctor also has no idea why I was getting headaches, which scares me. But I haven't gotten one since I started the anti-headache meds. Then I had jury duty the first part of this week. The side effects of the meds have been kicking my ass, heartburn, dizziness, sweating, and sleepiness to name a few. They should go away in a few days but right now I am just blah. I got a few days off and don't go back in til next Wednesday, woo hoo. I ordered some cool stuff from Seventh Avenue, which is the stuff at the top of the blog. Gonna hang them tomorrow.... when Ken gets home.

The jackhammer in my head

I had my 2nd MRI today and it was worse than the first one. I feel like I have been thru a trainwreck. Imagine the worst headache you have ever had, being stuck in a coffin while a jackhammer went on for 45 minutes in the room with you. That is what my MRI felt like today. I just about cried thru the whole thing. I have never felt this bad for this long in my life. I got the slides from the MRI today and have an appt with a nuerologist first thing in the am so he can hopefully diagnose me with something. God knows if he tells me this is just a stress headache and I just need to relax I am going to go Rambo on his ass. Ken is going to take me because if it is bad news I don't want to drive home by myself. Right now my headache is about a 7. I will keep this blog updated as much as I can. I really haven't told many people. I just don't feel like talking about it right now.

Day 11

It is 6am on Thursday morning. I have another MRI in 5 hours. I can't sleep. I woke up at 2am with a seering headache. Same headache I have had for 11 days now. So far I have seen my primary care twice going to my 2nd MRI today and have an opthomologist appt tomorrow morning since it is mainly behind my right eye and right temple. I can't think straight, my short term memory has gone to shit, and my blood pressure was the highest it has ever been. I have taken every over the counter medication for it and nothing has put a dent in this thing. Of course the doctor has me on meds and told me stop taking all my other meds just in case it could be a reactiton to them. My grandmother lived in constant chronic pain for the last couple of decades of her life due to asbestosis. I can't imgaine, on day 11 and in near desperation mode. I am fucking miserable.